boozey bark

While searching for a new cookie recipe to send as my participation for the Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap, I came across a blog post from Endlesssimmer.com for Whiskey, Caramel, Marshmallow and Bacon Bark.  Holy smokes, Endless Simmer’s photo alone had me all IN.  What a gorgeous first shot!  While I’m not choosing to send this dessert for the swap (WAYYY too messy and melty), I am posting the recipe, with some slight modifications.  I found the amount of booze they used was a bit much for my liking.  Also, I changed the amount of cayenne, omitted pepper, and added garam masala.  I swear I am obsessed with garam masala right now.  It’s just such a warm and comforting spice that I always want to eat mass quantities of whenever it’s cold outside.

I was not a huge dessert person, that is, until I met The Hubs.  The Hubs has a sweet tooth that will not be denied.  I think when he first returned from deployment he (we) ate his (our) way through 3-4 pints of Haagen Daaz a week!  Anyway, before I met him I never ordered dessert.  (I would much rather have an extra helping of potatoes, thanks.)  Now, however, I’m forever ruined for life.  The Hubs tells me I should thank him for opening my eyes to the world of dessert.  My waistline, however, is not so thankful!  This recipe is somewhat advanced and has a lot of steps.  The end result is a ooey, gooey, oozy sweet and salty piece of heaven.  It’s almost too much, so cut the pieces very small.

just some of the ingredients…

First step: Start with the bacon crumble… (NOTE: The bacon crumble topping can be omitted.  For a Nicolio a.k.a. veg-friendly substitute – is there REALLY a substitute for bacon though, c’mon – you could crush up pretzels instead.)  Cook 8 pieces of bacon as you normally would in a skillet until crispy.  Drain on paper towels and let cool.  Once cooled, either crumble with your hands or rough chop with a knife.

hello bacon!  Jason & Jason, this one’s for you guys!

Place 1/4 cup of sugar with 4 tablespoons of water in a small saucepan.  Heat over medium heat until the sugar is dissolved.  Toss crumbled bacon with sugar water, then strain out the excess water.

strain it, yo

In a small bowl, whip one egg white until fluffy, white and foamy.  Whip in the cayenne and garam masala.  Toss bacon in egg mixture so all is coated, then spread it out on a parchment lined baking sheet.  Bake for 30 minutes at 300 degrees.  Remove from oven and set aside to cool.

mmmm gahhh drool

Second step: Melt the chocolate.  You can use the double boiler method, or the microwave method. Since I am afraid of burning the chocolate, I use a double boiler.  Simply put a small amount of water into a pot, and then place a heat safe bowl over top of the water, ensuring the bottom of the bowl is not touching the water.  Set to boil and add your chocolate.  for me, 16 oz of chocolate chips = one 10 oz bag + 1 cup more.

double boil it!

Third Step: Start building your bark.  Pour half of the chocolate in a 8×8″ parchment lined pan.  The parchment lining is super important, as there it would be severely difficult to remove your bark without the parchment lining.  In gauging how much half is, it’s best to pour too much rather than too little chocolate for the base.  I would estimate at least 1/4″ to 1/3″ of thickness for the chocolate base.  Once you’ve poured the chocolate base, pop the pan in the freezer while you melt the marshmallows.

Fourth step: Time to melt the mallows!  This is part of the recipe I’d like to change, as the endless simmer folks put 5 tablespoons of bourbon in their marshmallows.  It was overly bourbony for me (perhaps because I don’t like bourbon??).  Anyway, use your own bourbon discretion, or don’t use any bourbon at all, but I would go with 1-2 tablespoons.  Melt the mallows until they just start to melt and spider webby looking strands form when stirred.   It will literally be a total sticky hot mess.  Remove from the heat and add the bourbon.  Spread this layer on top of your chocolate layer in your 8×8″ pan.  TIP: Spray your spatula with some Pam and the mallows won’t stick!  Return the pan to the freezer.

Fifth step: Caramel!  Can you buy it at the store, of course, but this was the easiest caramel I’ve ever made!  I attempted a salted caramel apple pie last year for Thanksgiving, and the caramel seized up on me and was completely botched.  This method is pretty simple… Add sugar and water to a medium saucepan over medium heat.  Stir until the sugar dissolves.  Once the sugar is dissolved, bump up the heat to high and the mixture will begin to bubble.  Do not stir but instead swirl the pan until the mixture darkens to a deep caramel color, as shown below, it will take 5-7 minutes.

you gotta swirl it!

When your mixture begins to smoke, it’s immediately time to add the cream and butter.  When you add the cream and butter it will bubble violently!  Use a whisk to combine and then set aside to let cool.  If you let your mixture smoke too long, it will burn and taste acrid.  So as soon as it begins to smoke, add in your cream and butter, whisk until incorporated, then remove from heat to let cool completely.  You will be tempted to stick your finger in for a taste.  DO NOT DO THIS!  You will burn the crap out of your finger and/or your mouth (trust me, ugh).  Once cooled, pour it over top of the marshmallows.

Final steps: Pour remaining chocolate overtop of the caramel and smooth with a spatula.  Press the cooled bacon crumble into the chocolate.  Set in the fridge or freezer, at least 20 minutes, to allow solidification.  Cut it when it’s cold, as I found waiting until it’s room temp made for ooey gooey messiness.

that’s a whole lotta bark…

Chocolate Bacon Mallow Bark